Happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts.

Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, in the most delightful way.

Things that make me happy:

1. You.
2. The macarena song.
3. Letters.
4. Her and her.
5. The Star Wars movies.
6. The hoodies.
7. Hugs.
8. Winnie the Pooh. (Mo)
9. Good books.
10. Good music.
11. Old pictures.
12. Nice texts.
13. The three little words.
14. The Doors. Thank you Jim Morrison, for writing and singing songs about anything and everything imaginable.
15. Perfume.
16. Brownies with ice cream and those little colourful sprinkle things =]
17. Bridget Jones.
18. 90210 and Gossip Girl. It's nice to know that people can fuck up wayyy more than you do.
19. I am not a fuck up. I just fuck up.
20. My bathroom.
21. The smiley face soap, the strawberry soap, and the shower gel from Victoria's Secret.
22. Victoria's Secret.
23. Drawings.
24. Oscar Wilde.
25. fmylife.com
26. Curly hair =]
27. Your voice. It makes me happy when you sing =]
28. Super chor.
29. Shoes my size.
30. Good movies.

One of Those Days

UGH. Today is one of those days. You know, those days. Those horrible days when you wish you just didn't exist.

*Anyway, yesterday was Shrutika's birthday party. And I'm guessing I pretty much ruined her birthday because all the pictures got deleted. fuck.

*WHY CAN'T PEOPLE JUST GET THE HINT?!
Have you ever absolutely loved someone, and then absolutely hated them the next minute? Okay, maybe not hate.. maybe just very strong.. dislike. Anyway, you would dislike the person too. I think. Or maybe my not liking that person isn't justified.. but it's justified in my head!

*School's getting over.. SHIT.

*I love you, always will. But I meant what I said yesterday.

*I miss you, so much. But i'm SO pissed off with you as well.

WHY IS EVERYTHING SO FUCKED UP?

"I want the world and I want it now"

The Fourth Kind

Yeah, I'm NEVER going to be able to sleep alone EVER again. I guess it's sort of like my fault as well. I was totally geared up to watch a scary movie the day I went to Tarana Banana Tamatar Slutty Marwah Skank's house. See, I HATE scary movies. Why? Because I'm scared of the dark and because I have trouble falling asleep at night. BUT, I'm also really curious. So even though I hate them.. I like watching them. :|
So I was all "Oooh! What's the scariest scary movie you've got?". So we decided we'd watch 'The Fourth Kind'.

And OHMYFUCKINGGOD that movie. =/ It's based on a true story.. and it's all about alien abductions (I know it sounds very not scary, but trust me, it was). See, I didn't think it would be that scary.. I was all "pffft alien abductions, I can handle that".. I mean, we've all seen 'Mars Attacks' right? And that movie was hilarious. And.. All the other alien based movies aren't that scary either.
But... yeah. I'm a 17 year old girl, and I'm scared to go to sleep before 5:30 in the morning because I think aliens are out to get me.

FML

Cigarettes and Alcohol and beautiful people =)

Now now, don't jump to conclusions. I'm just listening to the song 'cigarettes and alcohol' by Oasis.. Although it pretty much does sum up the events of last night.

Appa is the weirdest funniest drunk ever. He does this whole weird pussycat dolls dance thing. He was falling ALL over the place yesterday and screaming really random things. I miss him. What an idiot that boy is. =) (I really really hope he reads this). Heyyy Pumba. Just so you know (I know you're going to find this hard to believe).. I'll always love you, and I'll always be there for you. I know I haven't been the greatest best friend ever.. I hurt you.. You hurt me a little too.. But I want more than anything to put that behind us, because I really miss you.
I think I've already said all of that to you =| But.. er. I guess it doesn't hurt to say it once more.

Shrutika was a little tipsy too, she sobers down quite a bit when she's drunk (I know that statement is very contradictory, it's just that she's usually ALWAYS hyper, she's less hyper when she's tipsy).

Anyway, I think Aashna's a little ticked off with me right now. So babe, this is for you. You actually sounded concerned on the phone yesterday. Don't be idiotic, love. I'll always be your best friend, and you'll always be mine, no matter what. Yeah, you're stupid, you never listen to me, but I guess I don't listen to you that much either. How can you even THINK I'm drifting away? Don't be stupid, Scuba. I love you. You were my saviour in the 9th grade (I barely knew ANYONE in that class, except Feroze of course). You've always been there for me since, and I hope I've been there for you too. I'm sorry I yell at you at times, and hurt your feelings, but whenever I yelled, I did so only because I care. You're my beat-up person =) And I'll always be your bitch. Promise =p
I love you, Scubahhh =) Don't be silly, no one can take me away from you.

Save it, skank. I own you =)

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life... you give them a piece of you. They don't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore."
                                                                                                         - Jim Morrison


Love is super scary.. It makes you feel like you've never felt before.. You start doing things you'd never do under normal circumstances, you say things you'd never even dream of saying, you do anything you can to make the person you're in love with feel loved, your heart just about explodes with happiness when you see the person you're in love with.. when he/she tells you how much he/she loves you.. 
It's crazy man... I always talk about how much I hate dependency, how hard it is for me to trust people completely, how I'm insecure for a reason.. I over think all the time.. I blow things out of proportion.. It's all because what I'm feeling right now is something I've never felt before.. It's frightening.. overwhelming.. but at the same time, absolutely amazing.


I guess everyone has or has had a stupid person, no different from any other stupid person who's just come into their lives and changed everything.. That stupid, lovely person. 

Can you sense the love?

Sreya: Shrutika you know its really sad that you talk about him so much without even knowing him
Shrutika: uh huh
Sreya: And you dont even wanna know him, you want to know what he has. if you know what i mean
Shrutika: Sreya i ALWAYS know what you mean
*
Shrutika: Don't you just want to touch him all over?
Sreya: No
Shrutika: Why? Cause you got your own guy to touch
Sreya: YEAA
Shrutika: Slut, at least i dont act out what i think
Sreya: Yeah well thats not good...you should practice what you preach..
...
....
....
Sreya: Dude, i do want to touch him all over


Shrutika: What are you doing?
Sreya: uhm. Who?
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________


Shrutika and I talk about boys. A LOT. And the first two thingos are about a certain gorgeous person. =P
Anyway, I think she's a little more than a little ticked off right now. 
I've known her since we were in nursery.. I didn't really like her much then.. Because whenever we played those mommy daddy whatsit games I was ALWAYS the kid. i wanted to be the mommy too! 
Oh, and in KG, she told me she'd give me chewing gum if i spelled 'soldier' right. Oh I spelled it right alright. But did I get my gum? Noooo. 
I doubt she even remembers this. =P


But I love her. Like I told her just 5 minutes ago, she's one of the very few people who can talk sense into me.. and she's one of the VERY few people I actually listen to.. She's crazy, she's insecure, she doubts herself sometimes.. and she's a lot like me sometimes.. She's just one of those people who never fail at making you feel good about yourself. She's gorgeous, though she doesn't believe it. 


You're a cool patooti, babe. =) I love you.


But i will never forgive you for ruining my Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban book. 

People persons person people PERSON!

Have you ever been really REALLY wrong about a person? I don't think you can ever really KNOW anyone. Everyone has a dual nature.. at least that's what I believe. But the thing that hurts me the most and pisses me off the most is how even your friends can disappoint you.. Say things that friends just aren't supposed to say, do things that they aren't supposed to do. Hell, the 'things' i'm talking about over here are things that no one should do. It's wrong, it hurts others. But I guess you can only know if you've been on the receiving end. But HELLOOO? There's a thing called a 'conscience'!

I'm in one of my crazy moody moods today, I have been since yesterday (pms makes me crazy). I wish I could control my moodiness, seriously, but I can't. I was talking to one of my best friends Anjali the other day (god, how I love that girl).. And we were in one of our really self deprecating moods.. I really wish I wasn't this insecure, I never would have been if THAT BOY hadn't entered my life and fucked with my head a year ago, I wish I wasn't this needy, I wish I didn't need so much reassurance.. I feel bad for Sargun (my boyfriend) sometimes.. He's been very patient with me, and I can't thank him enough. I've become more tolerant and I've definitely become happier since he's been with me. He's tolerated my screaming and crying, crazy mood swings, occasional (or not so occasional to him) stupidity. So.. Happy nine months, babe. I love you =)

I need to prove to Abhinandan that I don't "use people and throw them away like tissue paper". =/ I really like that boy. He doesn't judge me. Sure all the sexual jokes he cracks are usually always directed towards me, but hey, whatever. We used to have the most retarded conversations. I sort of miss him. He was always jealous coz I had bacon in my freezer or something... So we decided that after the boards (the 10th boards) were over, he'd come over and we'd have this huge breakfast cook off thing. Yeah.. that never happened.

Shrutika's coming over today =) Dishari is a tiny person. She got Prada boots. She's sucha cutie. =) I think Aashna is the best bat-up person in the world.

Yes, I am aware that his post is very strange.

Kung-Fu Koanda (Koala + Panda). Wait. No. Shit. Kung-Fu Polar Bear.

Have you ever noticed how HAPPY koalas are? And pandas? 

I'm sick of expecting so much out of people and getting disappointed over and over again with what I get. I know it's a horrible thing to say.. It's not like i WANT to expect a lot from people.. I just do.. I'm sure a lot of other people do as well.. Don't they?! 

I can't help but have expectations, I can't help but expect a perfect friendship, a perfect family, a perfect relationship, perfect friends... but you're almost always let down.. I've let down a lot of people too.. You know what though? I guess in the end, however much you want to, you can't ever really blame anyone but yourself. 

"I think the best way to lose something is by wanting it too much" - John Dorian - Scrubs. (Stolen from she who must not be named)

I can really really relate to that.. And I bet a lot of others can, too. 

Anyway, get back to the whole I-want-to-be-a-kung-fu-koala+panda thing. 

Koalas and pandas are so happy. They're fat and happy. I want to be fat and happy too. I want to climb trees and eat shitty plant food and have people look at me and say "awww how cute". Anyway. A koala+panda = Koanda. 

Now i was all happy, thinking I'd invented this whole new cool animal. But then this friend of mine (Pranam Abbi = Life Saver and anti-depressant pill in human form) did some googling and found out that a koanda is a real animal. And it isn't very cute. This is what a Koanda looks like : 

Not very cute is it?

So now I want to be a kung-fu Polar Bear.. because polar bears are all happy and fat and lazy and awesome and if anyone pisses me off I could just go all karate chop on them. :D

Yeah, I realise I sound like a retard. I just sort of feel like a very irritable grizzly right now. :|

Breathe me..

Help, I have done it again 
I have been here many times before 
Hurt myself again today
And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame 

Be my friend 
Hold me, wrap me up 
Unfold me 
I am small 
I'm needy 
Warm me up 
And breathe me 

Ouch I have lost myself again 
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found, 
Yeah I think that I might break 
I've lost myself again and I feel unsafe

Be my friend 
Hold me, wrap me up 
Unfold me 
I am small 
I'm needy 
Warm me up 
And breathe me 

Be my friend 
Hold me, wrap me up 
Unfold me 
I am small 
I'm needy 
Warm me up 
And breathe me.


- 'Breathe Me' - Sia

Sweet like candy to my soul
sweet you rock and sweet you roll,
lost for you i'm so lost for you


Oh and you come crashhhh.. into me =) 


- Dave Matthews Band

Random.

It's 1 am right now, and I'm writing this while I'm waiting for Gaurav Kapoor to come back online and "save me from my boredom". (If he doesn't come back, well. fuck.)
I can't sleep, I've been trying to for the past 1 and a half hours.. evidently, I've completely given up and I am now on facebook.
I love bumper stickers. They make me happy. You know what else I love? Pon and Zi and quotes by Dr. Seuss. My boredom forces me to put some of them up here. =)


"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells" - Dr. Seuss


"Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you" - Dr. Seuss


"Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot. 
Nothing is going to get better. It's not." - Dr. Seuss


"Adults are just obsolete children and the hell with them." - Dr. Seuss


"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams." - Dr. Seuss
__________________________________________________________________________________

Isn't this the sort of stuff which just makes you go all "awwww!!" and jelly-like in your stomach and wish stuff like this happened in real life? 

I'm still online, Gaurav Kapoor has officially ditched me, I have nothing to do except browse bumper stickers on facebook. 

KILL MEEEEE!!

It's time =)

I was talking to a friend today... And we were talking about how everyone has an exclusive person.. I don't know.. I don't think that's true.. I mean sure I have my go-to people... But I don't know if i have an exclusive person, someone who belongs to me and only me, and I don't think I'm anyone else's exclusive person. See, I think the whole "exclusive person" thing is a little surreal..

Anyway.. I try not let people in too much, because I've done it before and I've been let down. So why risk it again, right? I have trust issues and I'm very very insecure, something that anyone who knows me very well has to deal with.. I think the main reason why I don't let people in is because I'm scared that the feelings I have for them aren't or wont be requited. But I was thinking today, and I had an epiphany. I realised that I'm never really going to know true happiness or love or friendship if I don't let my guard down (something my friend made me realise). Sure I might get hurt, but I don't think I'll regret it. And I figured that there's a reason why my friends and my boyfriend have stuck by me; they've accepted me for who I am - a very moody, insecure, sometimes crazy person.
The thing is... I think I've already let it down when it comes to certain people (you know who you are).. And yeah.. it really is the best feeling ever =)

Is This Love?

Don't you love fairy tales? Don't you love how everything's just so beautiful and easy? A little song and dance, a few tears, a wicked witch, and your true love's (Prince Charming) kiss. I wish our lives could be summed up like that. But noooo, life's gotta be be a slut and screw us till we fall and fall and fall and we can't fall anymore! 

You see, I love love. I need it, I live on it, I love everything about it; that warm, fuzzy feeling you get when you think you're in love, the way you can't stop thinking about the person you're in love with, the inside jokes, the weird nicknames... But the thing that confuses me the most is love, and the thing that screws me up the most is love.Have you ever seen Runaway Bride? Well if you haven't, watch it. Anyway, in the movie, Julia Roberts keeps running away before saying "I Do".. And Richard Gere (that yummy man) tells her that the people she's been getting married to are all people that she's just been INSANELY attracted to, and people have been known to confuse love with attraction all the time. 

But how the bloody hell does any of that make sense? I mean, how're you supposed to know who you're in love with and who you're just insanely attracted to? A little wonky isn't it? 

There was also this other movie in which someone says something like "Your whole life boils down to this one insane moment".. But how do you know which moment that insane moment is? :| I've had a lot of moments in my life, and quite a few of them have been pretty insane.   Ehhh.. Movies mess with my brain. 

Anyway, getting back to the whole love thing. BOYS ARE SO CONFUSING! And they say women are complicated. Men can't make up their minds either! Sure women overreact a lot, blow things out of proportion yadayadayada but the whole "women can't make up their minds thing" is bullshit because men can't do it either. 

In The Ugly Truth, Gerard Butler keeps going on about how you've got to have boobs and an ass, and if you have that then you're all set. But you saw how the movie turned out in the end, he fell for the control freak, the crazy woman who hadn't had sex for 11 months. And in 'He's just not that into you' they just keep going on about how a guy who teases you a lot actually secretly likes you. 

My message to the boy world is : STOP SENDING MIXED SIGNALS. It drives us crazy; do you like us, do you not like us, do you want something serious or are you just looking for some ass. And just a suggestion, if you really are only looking for some ass, make it clear to the girl.

I don't really know why I wrote this :| I completely digressed from what my main point was supposed to be. Anyway, How do you know when you've found "The One"? 

“You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.” - Dr. Seuss. 

Think that's true ^ ? =)

It seemed like a fun thing to do at the moment.

 If you don't know what the id, ego and superego are, go google it, because you're going  to need to know if you're reading this. 

A little bit of each of these is present in everyone, but there's one which is dominant. In my case, it's the id, at least, I think it is. =| 

You know how people do things without thinking? I almost ALWAYS do things without thinking. I like to deal with the consequences later (and there are always consequences). 

Jim Morrison once said "I was stoned, it seemed like a fun thing to do at the moment". I can't even begin to explain how much I can relate to this, save the stoned bit. 

I've done some pretty stupid things in my life so far. See, there are two types of people in the world; those who learn from other's mistakes (I guess they're the smarter ones), and those who learn from their own mistakes. I fit into the latter category. I wish I could learn from other's mistakes, really, I do.. But I have a theory which my best friend thinks is insanely stupid, but hey, it makes sense to me. I now get back to the "ruled by the Id" bit. See, I believe in doing what you want to do. I'd rather do something I really really want to do and not miss out on something that might be amazing. Life is about taking risks right? So if this something that you want to do is not amazing and you end up falling flat on your ass, then you just get up, you deal with it, and you learn to not do the same thing again. 

I realise that this might not make sense to you at all, and it might just be the stupidest thing you've ever read, but to each his own, right? =)